Throughout the Harry Potter series we gradually learn more of Aunt Petunia's sickeningly sweet ("treacly" in British) pet names for her dear son, Dudley. But what about that other other revolting mother and her even more revoting son? How might she speak to her obnoxious offspring? Maybe with ...

Narcissa Malfoy's Top Ten Disgustingly Cute Names for Draco

10. Ickle-Drakey-Wakey
9. Drakey-Dookie-Diddy-Dums
8. Drakey-Diddy-Dobby-Doo
(probably used less often since the end of CoS)
7. Snoogie-Woogie-Drakey-Poo
6. Drakey-Dinky-Dookie-Doodums
5. Drakey-Poopsie-Oopsie-Goo
4. Drakey-Dimsy-Mimsy-Doo-Doo
3. Drakey-Doody-Sweetie-Dookums
2. Dipsy-Doopsy-Drakey-Poo
1. YOU %!#@&* BRAT!!!